Hongsok Lee
The term “bapak rumah tangga” (house husband) remains unusual among Indonesians, as domestic responsibilities are mostly still linked to the wives. On the other hand, the practice of househusband is already recognized and practiced in several areas in Indonesia, providing intriguing curiosity towards the discourse of gender roles in Indonesia. This phenomenon brought Alimatul Qibtiyah, a professor in gender studies at UIN Sunan Kalijaga Yogyakarta and the associate director of the Indonesian Consortium for Religious Studies (ICRS), to explore the emerging phenomenon of men who take on domestic and caregiving roles within Indonesian families. On March 11, 2026, she presented her research in the weekly Wednesday Forum hosted by Universitas Gadjah Mada’s Interreligious Studies Doctoral Program (IRS UGM), Center for Religious and Cross-cultural Studies at Universitas Gadjah Mada (CRCS UGM) and ICRS.
Qibtiyah’s presentation examined how the shifting economic and social dynamics have begun to reshape gender roles in the households while also highlighting how certain aspects of patriarchal authority remain resilient. The study focused on two regions in Java, Yogyakarta and Ponorogo, and investigated how families negotiate domestic labor, breadwinning, and leadership within the household. By combining survey data, interviews, and focus group discussions, the research sought to understand how the rise of “househusbands” reflects the broader transformations in Indonesian society. At the same time, the study addressed the continuous influence of religious and cultural norms that frame men as the symbolic leaders of the family. The self-concept of husbands and wives shows a significant positive correlation with their attitudes toward the house husband phenomenon. In other words, the more positive viewpoints toward this phenomenon are, the higher their level of happiness in the households tends to be.
Changing Gender Roles in Indonesian Society and the Emergence of House Husbands
Since the 1990s, Indonesia has experienced significant transformations in gender relations, largely driven by the increasing participation of women in education and the labor market. The expansion of educational opportunities, the influence of women’s movements, and the effects of urbanization have all contributed to the reconfiguration of gender roles within the family. Statistical data reflects this shift. The proportion of female civil servants rose from 46% in 2017 to 54% in 2022, while the Gender Inequality Index has gradually declined. These developments indicate measurable progress in gender equality across multiple sectors, including education, employment, and political participation. As women’s participation in economic activities has expanded, there has been an increasing number of cases in which women become primary contributors to family income. This shift challenges long-standing traditional assumptions that position men as breadwinners and women as housewives. Accordingly, the division of household labor is being renegotiated within families, and in some cases, men take on greater responsibility for childcare and the management of domestic life.
Within this context, the concept of the “house husband” has emerged, referring to a married man who spends more time on domestic and caregiving tasks than his wife or who actively participates by sharing these responsibilities in a balanced way. Importantly, this concept does not imply the absence of income; rather, it describes a reorientation of priorities within family life. Qibtiyah’s study emphasized that this phenomenon is not entirely new. Men have historically taken on domestic roles under certain conditions, such as illness, unemployment, or economic hardship. However, what distinguishes the present moment is the increasing visibility and public recognition of these arrangements. Although comprehensive national data remains limited, available evidence suggests that male participation in domestic labor has increased over time. This trend parallels developments observed in other contexts, such as the United States and Hong Kong, yet it unfolds within Indonesia’s distinctive cultural and religious framework. Rather than indicating the breakdown of traditional family structures, the rise of house husbands should be understood as a process of adaptation. Families are responding to the changing economic realities and practical needs by reorganizing their internal roles.
Attitude toward Flexible Gender Role in the Family
The research revealed notable differences in how men and women perceive changing gender roles. Women tend to demonstrate greater acceptance of flexible role arrangements, while men often remain more closely attached to traditional expectations. At the same time, most respondents agreed that a good husband should not only fulfill financial responsibilities but also participate in domestic tasks, including cooking and childcare. This suggests that social attitudes are gradually evolving, even if change is uneven. Despite these shifts, tensions remain between emerging practices and established ideals of masculinity. Many men continue to feel pressure to serve as primary providers. When they are unable to fulfill this role, they may experience psychological stress and a sense of diminished identity. This situation is often described as a crisis of masculinity, reflecting the difficulty of reconciling traditional norms with contemporary realities.
A central finding of the study is the persistence of symbolic male authority within the household. Even in cases where husbands contribute less financially or take on domestic roles, they are frequently still regarded as the heads of the family. In Islamic discourse, the husband is understood as the imām, the moral and spiritual leader responsible for guiding the whole household. This symbolic role remains widely accepted and continues to shape perceptions of family leadership. This distinction between economic authority and symbolic authority is crucial. While financial responsibility may shift between spouses, symbolic authority often remains stable. In this sense, patriarchy does not simply disappear in response to social change. Instead, it adapts and persists in modified forms.
Gender Role Flexibility and Family Happiness
Another important dimension of the study concerned the relationship between gender role flexibility and family well-being. The findings indicated that families who adopt more flexible approaches to the division of domestic labor tend to report higher levels of satisfaction and happiness. This suggests that cooperation, communication, and mutual understanding are more important for family stability than rigid adherence to traditional roles. When couples negotiate their responsibilities based on practical considerations, such as employment opportunities or childcare needs, they are better able to create balanced and harmonious relationships. This flexibility allows families to respond effectively to changing circumstances and reduces potential sources of conflict.
However, these evolving practices exist alongside a legal framework that continues to reinforce traditional gender roles. Indonesia’s Marriage Law of 1974 defines the husband as the head of the family and the wife as the housewife. This legal formulation reflects older social norms and does not fully align with contemporary realities. As a result, a gap emerges between lived experience and institutional regulation.
Conclusion
The study provides valuable insight into the complex dynamics of gender roles within Indonesian families. The increasing visibility of house husbands reflects broader transformations in economic structures, social expectations, and family organization. As women continue to expand their presence in education and the workforce, families are developing new patterns of responsibility sharing. At the same time, these changes do not eliminate traditional forms of authority. Instead, they reveal the adaptive nature of patriarchal systems. Even as economic roles change, symbolic expectations regarding male leadership often remain intact. This indicates that social change tends to occur not through abrupt transformation, but through gradual negotiation and adjustment. The findings highlight the importance of understanding gender transformation as a multifaceted process shaped by economic conditions, cultural norms, and religious interpretations. In this regard, the phenomenon of house husbands serves as a valuable lens through which to examine broader questions of gender, authority, and social change in contemporary Muslim societies.
Reflection from a Korean
From a Korean perspective, the discussion presented at this Wednesday Forum reveals meaningful parallels with the Confucian patriarchal structure of Korean society. Like Indonesian, the Korean language employs gender-neutral expressions that do not strictly distinguish between men and women. Nevertheless, Korean society has historically maintained a strong patriarchal order, which became further consolidated during the Joseon Dynasty when Confucianism was institutionalized as both the state religion and the governing ideology. At the same time, however, religion has also played a positive role in expanding women’s roles. During the Japanese colonial period, Western Protestant missionaries established educational institutions for women, providing them with access to modern education. Through this process, women developed as intellectuals and actively participated in independence movements and broader social transformations. This historical experience demonstrates that religion can function both as a mechanism that reinforces patriarchy and as a force that transforms it.
The discussion presented in this forum can be understood as an attempt to explore the possibility that patriarchal structures may be mitigated and reformed from within Muslim societies. Through continuous interaction with social, political, cultural, and religious spheres, patriarchal structures have continually evolved, and the active gender discourse within Muslim societies demonstrates the potential to reinterpret and transform family relations, including patriarchal structures.